But I'm here now and I was just on my Myspace and decided to check my horoscope really quick. Now astrology is about as close as I get to believing in anything religious or other worldly. I don't believe in it that heavily mind you and although they're hit and miss, most of the time my horoscopes actually relate somehow. If anything they at least sort of inspire me and make me take time to think and reflect upon the day ahead.
So I just read my horoscope and it says:
'It's like your own personal New Year's Day and even if you don't throw a party, it's still a good idea to sit down and write a list of resolutions. Taking this task seriously can be of immense help in the days and weeks ahead, for this exercise focuses your attention on what's most important to you while the New Moon in your sign plants the seeds of your intentions in fertile ground.'
Now how I interpret this is that since I'm moving and I need to get a ton of shit done besides all the stuff I was already trying to do in my regular life, that perhaps I need to sit down, re-prioritize, map out a plan for the next few months, and stick to it 100%.
So, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm usually a TERRIBLE procrastinator. I think it's due mostly to my health and weight issues and I read somewhere that it's part of depression. But we'll get into that another day.
But anyways, I think that doing this will really help and make a difference and I think it'll be a fun personal challenge and will also help build some self confidence.
So here's my list of things I'd like to get done within the next week or so.
- Finish packing my room.
- Finish packing the kitchen.
- Finish packing the dining/living room.
- Pack up mom's room.
- Vacuum and shampoo all the carpets with a Rug Doctor.
- Set off bug bombs.
- Get all the extra things we don't want sold on Craig's List.
- Buy flea treatments for the animals.
- Give Zacky a bath.
- Turn in our notice.
In other news, tomorrow I'll be turning in some of my photos to be exhibited at this years Ladyfest. I'm super stoked! This is my first time submitting my art and I'm kind of nervous but mostly excited. I've been putting on a front telling everyone things like 'Eh, fuck em if they don't like it or don't get it. That's why the call it art!' But really I just want everyone to genuinely like it. Not even love it but to just think, 'wow, that's really pretty' or something like that. Lol. But either way, if they love it or hate it, all I can do is learn from this experience and improve for next time. Which will be when I submit a photo to the Northwest Washington Fair. And one way I'll know how I can improve all ready is by having my photo matted. Lol. Right now I'm too poor to mat or frame my photos but I guess that's fine according to the Ladyfest coordinators. And even though I can only submit one photo to the fair as opposed to the 15 I'm submitting to Ladyfest, I'm actually even more excited for it because they REALLY judge your photo and give out ribbons and cash prizes. I don't really care about the money so much but dammit, I want at least a blue if not a purple (which is like grand champion I think) ribbon! Lol.
Another thing that's going on is that I'm volunteering for Ladyfest as well. So far I've only painted a small celling but I plan on doing much more this week. I felt really bad though because I'm afraid I didn't do that good of a job on the celling and I'm nervous that secretly the lady hated me. Lol. Not like really hated me but like, after I finished I was like 'Would you like me to fix anything before I leave?' And she kind of gave it a quick look over and was like 'Um, no that's ok. You did a good job and you can go.' Then I asked her where I should rinse out the paint brushes and where to put everything and she quickly told me to leave everything and that I did such a good job that I could just go and she would clean up for me. Even though I still had another 1 1/2 hrs I was supposed to be there. And I mean, she knew it was the first time I've ever painted anything like that and I'm sure she was just trying to be nice and I'm sure she really did appreciate that I had at least tried and done my best but it just felt to me like she wanted to get me out of there so she could hurry up and fix all my mistakes and go home. Lol. I don't know, it's probably just my insecurities and anxiety that make me think these things but it still got to my self-esteem because when I'm doing things for others I always want to do a great job. And it's not like I'm trying to be an over acheiver or that I need the attention or anything but when you're volunteering and volunteering for something that's really important like this then there's an added pressure to do the best you can. I and I just felt like I didn't. But like I said about my photos, all I can do is learn and improve. And I have all this week to redeem myself. I'd just like to be more of a help then a hindrance. Lol.
Other then that there's nothing more really worth writing about just yet.
Plus my hands are starting to cramp.
*Side note: Don't you fucking hate it when you can't figure out what that weird smell is? UGH!*
Peace!
-Kelcie
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