My last week as a teenager.

God I feel so old. This is going to be my last week as a teenager. Now I really have to grow up. And I don't wanna dammit! Well, at least a little part of me doesn't. Lol. But it's not going to be all that bad turning 20. On the bright side, now starts the count down until I can drink...legally. Lol. And I've decided that I'm going to go ahead and drink on my birthday this year and then quit until my 21st birthday. That way my tolerance will be nice and low and it won't cost me an arm and a leg to go out and get drunk. Lol. Of course after that I'm not going to go back to drinking like I used to but I hope by then I'll be able to be a more responsible drinker.

Psh, yea, we'll see.

It's so strange to think that ten years ago I was only ten and in the 5th grade. I think my favorite memory from back then (and one of the very few I remember, lol) is the day my mom asked me if I wanted a horse. Just out of nowhere. I was so surprised because usually it's the kids that are supposed to ask the parents if they can have a pony and quite frankly, it had never occurred to me to ask. But I said sure. And about two weeks later I had my very own horse! Her name was Thumper and she was the best thing to ever happen to me. But I think I'll save her story for another blog.

Another thing I remember about being ten is how sad it was to graduate from my beloved elementary school. Parkview was pretty much the only time I ever liked school. The teachers actually cared about you, I did well in class, they always had amazing artist from different cultures come and work with us, there was all sorts of awesome fund raisers and school activities, and all sorts of other things I loved. I think that if middle and high school were more like elementary school then we'd definitely be producing a higher percent of graduates that are not only nicer human beings but are smarter and more ambitious. Seriously. I remember having so many hopes and dreams and enthusiasm when I was little and I just always had that feeling that I could do and be anything I wanted and no one could stop me and that I was going to change the world. But over these past ten years unfortunate circumstances and other peoples negative energy has drained almost all my will to hold onto my hopes and dreams.

So, ten years ago that's where I was. And we've pretty much covered where I am now. Overweight, out of shape, unhappy with life and generally depressed, I've just gotten my G.E.D. and I'm trying desperately to get into the local technical college, I'm poor, jobless, and living with my mother, and most importantly, I'm no longer have any horses.

But like I've said before, I'm starting to change all that.

Now, let's talk ten years from now.

I'll be (oh dear god) 30. I hope to be fit and healthy, at least engaged if not already married (depending on if they've changed the laws by then. Which they better have.) and starting a family, I hope to have acquired a masters degree in something, to have started a successful career, have become a well established local artist, and to have gotten back into riding horses again.

That's kind of my skeleton plan. But we'll see what happens. A billion different things can happen in ten years and who knows what the outcome will be. But whatever happens, if nothing more I hope to have made some significant positive changes and I hope to finally be in a place mentally and emotionally where I'm happy with myself.

Well, I better get back to packing and cleaning. Only a little over a week until we get to move! Yay!

Peace!

-Kelcie